“je ne rein avec certitude, mais la vue des étoiles me fait rêver.”
“i know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”— vincent van gogh
Hello, I am Alexandra, and no, that is not my real name.
As I have pondered much about my life as a writer and what it will be like when I am living my adult life out on my own, I have constantly debated whether I should put myself out there. I have always wanted people to be inspired by my art, whether it be in word or visual form, but I have never been sure if it should be acknowledged in reference to me. There is a sort of mystery and excitement that I have always found in a pen name, and the room it gives to develop a personal identity is marvelous.
Now, I am not hiding. I am not lying.
I am allowing myself to discover myself through a new way. I am giving myself a new opportunity to be who I really want to be. Someday, I hope that I can be a name in the writing community that people refer to with respect and admiration. I am no secret. A lot of my friends will probably know who I am. I am fine with that. But there is nothing wrong with opening yourself up creatively with complete freedom and adventure. This is what Alexandra means to me. It is another part of me that I hope can be embraced, as I am learning to embrace myself. She is the artist in me.
‘Alexandra’ comes from my middle name given to me by my parents, Alejandra. As I have grown, I have really come to appreciate and love my hispanic roots. With that, came a newfound appreciation for my middle name that I didn’t have before. Ever since I was young, I have been just another Sarah in whatever crowd I found myself in. My first name is a very generic one and very common. When I started going to public school, I was surrounded by kids who had cute nicknames or shortened versions of their name that made them unique. I, on the other hand, was always ‘Sarah J!’, distinguished by my last initial. It wasn’t very exciting and I found myself really wanting that special nickname.
If you know me, there is a super big chance that I have asked you to come up with a nickname for me. Yes, still to this day, and I am now a college student. I suppose the one simple-minded yearning of my youth has carried on in me. However, most people seem to have a hard time finding me a nickname that would best suit my personality, or they are just not up to the task. So, I suppose that sometime or another on the timeline I then decided to give myself one. And I took it from my middle name.
I have found that my little “nickname” varies. Sometimes it is Alexandra. Often, it’s Alexa. I find that cute and I think girls who are just born with that name are blessed. More recently, it’s been Alejandra, mostly in my journal. I found I like ending my entries with either my first and middle initials, or I just use the both full names. But whatever it may be, it’s me! They are all a part of me discovering who I am now, who I want to be, and the process of becoming that. Some things I already know, but others, I just don’t yet. And though this may seem like a small part of that, I think it might be equally as important.
I encourage everyone to do the same as I have, whether it be in this way, or another. Find that part of you that you really want the world to discover, and share it. Learn to love it. There are so many ways in which you can do that. I think it will always be an ongoing journey. I know I thought I had figured it out, but surprise! I am still growing and finding my identity and learning a lot about myself. So I don’t expect my journey to end anytime soon.
I hope that sharing my insights with you can lead to you sharing yours with others. Sharing absolutely is caring. Think about how it really impacts the world. It is in a bigger way than you think.
Feel free to ask me any questions! I will be happy to answer them. In the meantime, take a look at what more I have to share.
Don’t be afraid to share yourself. You’ll inspire others to do the same.